COUPLES COUNSELING

At Authentic-Life Counseling we're passionate about nurturing relationships.

We view the relationship itself as our client guiding couples to recognize and amplify the strengths of the relationship while addressing any areas of concern.

Together, we'll uncover the dynamics that are working and those that need attention.

Our collaboration fosters a deeper connection and loving relationship.

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Marriage Counseling

Relationships can be challenging to navigate!

Even though we may love our partners deeply, we sometimes struggle to communicate, please, or trust them.

Similar to a living organism, couples go through various stages of growth and development. Consequently, the objectives of therapy in pre-marital counseling or for blended families differ significantly.

For marriage counseling to be effective, it's crucial for couples to have a clear idea of what they aim to achieve. However, this can be challenging because, in relationships, we often attempt to rebuild or enhance subjective aspects, such as trust. Complicating matters, partners may not always perceive the root cause of the problem in the same way.

At Authentic-Life Counseling, our dedication lies in providing marriage counseling that yields positive results, fostering stronger, healthier, and more loving connections. Once we identify the issues and areas for improvement, the real work begins. Couples will receive homework assignments designed to enhance emotional reactions, behavioral patterns, thinking processes, and communication styles. These assignments are aimed at helping you and your partner better understand and love each other

Your Marriage Counseling Will Consist of Two Objectives:

A primary objective of marriage counseling is to comprehend both the positive and negative aspects of your relationship from both perspectives. It is crucial for the therapist to understand what is working and what is not working from both points of view. We will delve into the history of your relationship, exploring the specific dynamics of your current situation. A common reason for couples seeking marriage counseling is to enhance communication, so we will likely examine communication patterns and conflict resolution skills. Insights into family of origin are significant for understanding if early childhood trauma impacts emotional response patterns in your current relationship. Additionally, assessing general functioning, including self-care and substance use, is vital for comprehending the holistic nature of the relationship.

The second objective is to provide you with the tools you need to change. This is where the work really starts. Ineffective emotional reactions, thinking patterns and behavioral responses are not easy to change. But change they must if growth is to be expected.

What To Expect In Marriage Counseling

Marriages are constantly in a state of change. There are marriages, divorces, the death of a loved one, health challenges, and career changes. Children grow up and couples grow apart. Sometimes couples have a hard time adjusting to these changes.

The most common reasons couples go to marriage counseling are:

To improve conflict resolution skills.

Recovery from infideliety.

Improve communication.

The complications of blended families such as parenting step children, and co-parenting with the ex's.

Substance abuse and addiction.

Common Questions About
Marriage Counseling

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

If one or both partners are unwilling to actively engage in the counseling process, it may contribute to the relationship becomming worse. Research indicates that marriage counseling is effective for 70% of couples who receive treatment. Alternatively, if one partner invests effort in making changes while the other does not, it could lead to feelings of resentment.

I have had clients who were not able to save their relationship despite marriage counseling. I often feel like the efforts in this scenario is "too little too late". On the other hand, I have had many clients that have gone from the brink of divorce to loving relationships. Even after infideliety, couples have said their relationship is stronger than ever.

Can Marriage Counseling Make Things Worse?

Marriage counseling is intended to help couples navigate improve their relationship, but yes, there are instances where it might not be effective, and in some cases, it could potentially make things worse. Here are a few reasons why this could happen:

Unwillingness to Change or Lack of Commitment:

If one or both partners are unwilling to actively engage in the counseling process, it may contribute to a deterioration of the relationship. Alternatively, if one partner invests effort in making changes while the other does not, it could lead to feelings of resentment.

Incompatibility with the Therapist: If the couple and the therapist are not a good fit or if there is a lack of trust or connection, the counseling process may not be as effective. In my practice, instances of poor fit often occur when clients expect sessions to focus solely on complaining about their partner rather than actively working towards positive changes.

How Long Does Marriage Counseling Last?

The duration of marriage counseling varies widely. The duration dependent on the specific needs and circumstances of the couple. Short-term focused counseling may range from a few sessions to several weeks, addressing specific issues such as communication or conflict resolution. More complex or deeply rooted issues may require longer-term therapy, extending for several months or even years.

Other factors that influence the duration of marriage counseling include the severity of the issues, the commitment of both partners to the process, and the skill of the therapist. It's important for couples to discuss their goals and expectations with the therapist to establish a realistic timeframe for their unique situation. Additionally, some couples may find periodic "maintenance" sessions beneficial even after the initial counseling period to ensure ongoing support and growth in their relationship.

How Long Have You Been A Marriage Counselor?

I have been a marriage counselor for over a decade, working with a diverse range of clients that includes various cultures, sexual orientations, races, and religions. Over this period, I have encountered marital challenges presented in numerous dimensions, and I've witnessed healing emerge from various aspects of the therapeutic process.

Will You See Us In Individual Sessions?

In marriage counseling, the primary focus is on the relationship as the 'client,' unlike individual therapy where the client is the individual. However, there are instances when individual issues significantly impact the relationship. I do consider seeing individuals on a case-by-case basis, especially when my unique therapeutic approach resonates with them.

It's important to note that I uphold a 'No Secrets Policy.' If you are withholding any information, such as previous affairs, sexual orientation, or addiction use, that has not been disclosed to your partner, the secret must be revealed, or I cannot proceed with individual therapy.