Tag: self-care

Taking Care Of Myself

I have a confession to make!

I have been a hypocrite. Not intentionally. I could make excuses, but none of them would not be honest. My confession is…………… I have not been doing my homework. I have not been taking care of myself.

I apologize and confess because I know I have pushed, encouraged and sometimes pleaded with clients to “do their work”, while I had been avoiding my own.

No Mud No Lotus

Improvements in mental, emotional or behavioral patterns come with a little or a lot of discomfort. In Buddhism, we say “No Mud No Lotus”, meaning that liberation from suffering, the lotus, has to come from mud, the suffering. The lotus has an inter-being relationship with the mud.

Over the past several months’ childhood, memories that brought emotional pain were rising in my mind and heart. My baby was crying, but I ignored her, even though, every day, I witness the incredible courage and strength in clients as they do their work, shed tears, and express their most vulnerable thoughts. They press through the discomfort and shed familiar but unskillful thinking patterns, emotional responses, and habituated energies.

Ignoring my baby came to a screeching halt once I arrived in Plum Village Monastery in Thenac, France, June 24, for a Neuroscience of Meditation retreat. The healing was going to commence if I was ready or not!

Self-Care

A sort of internal earthquake erupted. I left a small pool of tears at Plum Village in the South of France. I let myself cry and grieve. I talked. I let myself be vulnerable. I let myself feel the pain and terror I knew as a little girl. But, I no longer ignored my baby. I took care of the part of me that felt splintered from the whole. I feel very brave and began taking care of myself.

I am caring for her still. When I feel a stir of tension I let her know, “I have got you”. I am taking care of myself by having fun. I make fun a priority. I am taking care of myself by cultivating carefree-ness. My central nervous system is settling. I remind my central nervous system to rest and breathe deep.

The needs of my 8-year-old self were not met. But I am meeting them now. Something is starting to trust in a new way. A tightness is unwrapping itself from my core. I am taking care of my baby. I am taking care of myself. I hope you continue to do so as well.

From the bottom of my mending heart, Thank You to every one of my friends, retreat attendees, and clients for demonstrating the myriad of options we have for taking care of our baby and allowing the beautiful lotus to arise from the mud.

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Being Authentic When You Feel Imperfect

By Dr. Matthew Welsh J.D., Ph.D – Guest Blogger

Founder of Spiritual Media Blog

https://www.spiritualmediablog.com/

One of my life goals is to be authentic. Initially, this may seem or sound simple. Being authentic simply means to be yourself, speak your truth, or be true to yourself. However, one of the hardest parts about being authentic is recognizing that I am not perfect. Thus, part of being authentic is giving myself permission to be imperfect.

This has been a struggle for me at times. I strive for perfection, have high goals for myself, and push myself beyond what most would believe to be comfortable thresholds. The advantages of this are that I have become extremely discipline with how I spend my time and my behavior, I often achieve my goals, and when I fall short I of my goals I am still able to feel good about my results.

The Downside Of Perfectionism

However, the down side of striving for perfection is that when I fall short in ANY aspect of my life, then I am at risk of not being happy with myself or feeling unsatisfied. Additionally, I can be excessively hard on myself when I don’t reach my goals. Further, I often put so much pressure on myself that it is difficult for me to enjoy the inevitable ups and downs, twists and turns, and zigs and zags that come with living life and being a human.

Part of the antidote for this is recognize that in order for me to be authentic, I must give myself permission to be imperfect and accept myself for who I am at this moment in time and accept the current circumstances of life.This does not mean lowering standards or not trying to change your circumstances. It is simply accepting where you are in this moment, feeling good about the progress you have made in some areas of your life and recognizing that you would prefer to change other areas of your life.  Helpful thoughts to aid in this process include:

  1. My self-worth encompasses more than my external circumstances (e.g., weight, financial worth, career, relationships)

 

  1. My invisible self is shining right now and worthy of love

 

  1. I am going to give myself permission to be happy, even if everything is not exactly how I would like it to be in my life right now

 

  1. I may not prefer my current circumstances, but I am willing to accept them.

Accept The Imperfections

Plus, when we fight our current circumstances, then that often leads to unhelpful thoughts such as:

I should/must/need to have more money, improved relationships, or better body in order to be happy, let myself relax and accept myself for who I am.

This distracts us from being in tune with our higher self or spirit. Plus, our self worth and attraction is often viewed by others to be completely different than how we view ourselves when we are demanding perfection. Finally, if we really want to be authentic, then it can help to learn to accept ourselves for our strengths and imperfections.

Peace,

Dr. Matthew Welsh J.D., Ph.D

Founder of Spiritual Media Blog

Spiritual Media Blog is a website that features guest posts, articles, interviews, and reviews about spirituality, psychology, and inspirational entertainment. Please visit http://www.spiritualmediablog.com for more information

Dr. Matthew Welsh J.D., Ph.D. is the founder of Spiritual Media Blog. After graduating from law school Dr. Welsh created Spiritual Media Blog to be a source of inspirational content, media, and entertainment. He began his career in Hollywood working for an entertainment agency, the William Morris Agency, and then as a trial lawyer for the Department of Child Services in Indiana. He realized that he was not happy working as a lawyer. So, he quit his job as a lawyer to pursue his calling to become a psychologist and obtained his PhD in Psychology. He now works as a full-time psychologist. Spiritual Media Blog is a creative outlet for his passions related to psychology, spirituality, and inspirational entertainment. His hope for Spiritual Media Blog is that it provides you with content that is practical, inspirational, and entertaining.

 

 

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Taking Care Of Myself

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Being Authentic When You Feel Imperfect

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