Category: Anecdotes

Taking Care Of Myself

I have a confession to make!

I have been a hypocrite. Not intentionally. I could make excuses, but none of them would not be honest. My confession is…………… I have not been doing my homework. I have not been taking care of myself.

I apologize and confess because I know I have pushed, encouraged and sometimes pleaded with clients to “do their work”, while I had been avoiding my own.

No Mud No Lotus

Improvements in mental, emotional or behavioral patterns come with a little or a lot of discomfort. In Buddhism, we say “No Mud No Lotus”, meaning that liberation from suffering, the lotus, has to come from mud, the suffering. The lotus has an inter-being relationship with the mud.

Over the past several months’ childhood, memories that brought emotional pain were rising in my mind and heart. My baby was crying, but I ignored her, even though, every day, I witness the incredible courage and strength in clients as they do their work, shed tears, and express their most vulnerable thoughts. They press through the discomfort and shed familiar but unskillful thinking patterns, emotional responses, and habituated energies.

Ignoring my baby came to a screeching halt once I arrived in Plum Village Monastery in Thenac, France, June 24, for a Neuroscience of Meditation retreat. The healing was going to commence if I was ready or not!

Self-Care

A sort of internal earthquake erupted. I left a small pool of tears at Plum Village in the South of France. I let myself cry and grieve. I talked. I let myself be vulnerable. I let myself feel the pain and terror I knew as a little girl. But, I no longer ignored my baby. I took care of the part of me that felt splintered from the whole. I feel very brave and began taking care of myself.

I am caring for her still. When I feel a stir of tension I let her know, “I have got you”. I am taking care of myself by having fun. I make fun a priority. I am taking care of myself by cultivating carefree-ness. My central nervous system is settling. I remind my central nervous system to rest and breathe deep.

The needs of my 8-year-old self were not met. But I am meeting them now. Something is starting to trust in a new way. A tightness is unwrapping itself from my core. I am taking care of my baby. I am taking care of myself. I hope you continue to do so as well.

From the bottom of my mending heart, Thank You to every one of my friends, retreat attendees, and clients for demonstrating the myriad of options we have for taking care of our baby and allowing the beautiful lotus to arise from the mud.

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empowerment of women

The Divine Wisdom of Femininity

empowerment of women
There is Power and Divinity in  the Feminine

 

As a woman, I did not always know my worth. In fact, I am just coming into the reality of the divine wisdom of femininity. Some years ago, as I was eating breakfast in a Waffle House restaurant, and a beautiful man approached me. His intention was to compliment me on the beauty he observed in me. But, as I sat in my intimidation, I tried to brush him off. After all, I was just there to eat. But, this beautiful King asked permission to sit with me. Well, it was more than a random “come-on”. He began to share with me about who I was as a goddess. He offered me a book he shared with his own daughter. That book is Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind and Spirit by Queen Afua.

 

Shortly after this encounter, I received an unsolicited email announcing Queen Afua coming to Atlanta for a one day conference. Well, my beloved mentor and teacher Julia W., once told me to “pay attention” to the messages of the universe and you will hear God. We tend to read and pray so much, we miss out on answers to internal questions and quests because we won’t be still enough to know when answers come. Well, the universe had my attention because this was no coincidence. So, I went to the conference and I was transformed, in my thinking, that is.

EXHIBITION (1)Queen Afua says…, as a female Being we are distinctive in that we are the “wombed” , The Divine SHE- which is the gateway of ALL human life. She says…, when the womb is honored and respected, she becomes a channel of power, creativity, and beauty. – and joy reigns on earth. When her voice goes unheard, unanswered, denied, the womb becomes a vessel of dis-ease. The collective state of women’s wombs reflects the condition of the world. When so many women suffer from tumors, fibroids and heavy bleeding, frigidity and when so many experience sexually aggressive acts or simply are denied orgasmic pleasure, then disharmony covers the earth.

My colleague and friend Diane C. Of Authentic-Life Counseling, does Chakra Energy work with clients and she identifies this as the Sacral Chakra, which relates to our ability to feel creative, sexual and accept change. The womb is the storehouse of our emotions and is where many of us, including me, hold our fear and negativity. Queen says…, “the condition of a woman’s womb reflects the condition of all her relationships. When a woman’s womb is in a healthy state, her life is a reflection of this balance”.

So, sisters, let’s have the sacred conversation about our wombs and how we either honor or dishonor it. Let’s have the courage to examine our unhealthy habits and relationships, our unmet needs and our engagement in sex to fill voids it cannot fill. Let’s begin to know, love and honor the sacredness of who are. WE ARE THE WOMBED. We are more powerful than the world is willing to admit. Jill Scott, in one of her songs, suggested…, “if women stopped having babies, we will end humanity as we know it”. Powerful, huh!!

The womb is the door from which humanity enters. As the chosen vessels, we deserve good love, good care, good health, and the Truth about who we really are, which is the Divine SHE. I say, we are the expression of Divine Wisdom known as Femininity – the Mother Nature of God. We have been given awesome creative power. We are the healers of the earth. As we heal ourselves, we heal the world. The womb is the birthplace of all Creativity- the place where God resides.

Blessings

Myra C

 

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Wayne Dyer’s Transition

Muses on Dr. Wayne Dyer Transition From the Known Body to Body Unknown

Dr. Wayne Dyer's transition caused be to pause and reflect who HE is
Dr. Wayne Dyer’s transition caused me to pause. As I reflected on who HE is my heart felt deep peace and compassion

Yesterday I received some news that jarred me and cause me to PAUSE for a minute. I learned that one of my unofficial mentors transitioned from the known body to body unknown. I wanted to follow my instincts and go with the sorrow I felt, but as I reflected on who He IS……my heart could only feel deep peace and compassion. I am talking about the honorable Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of the Power of Intention, Change Your Thoughts/Change Your Life, creator of The Shift and so many more books. I have many, if not all, of Dr. Dyer’s publications and I have been listening to him speak on public TV and radio for years. In the last few years, Oprah has been having enlightening conversations with him on her broadcast “Super Soul Sunday”. I can watch those episodes over and over again. Thank you Oprah!

We Are More Than Our Bodies and Conditioned Personalities

Dr. Dyer is just one of the many enlightened teachers that I have adopted as a significant member of my community. His teachings are not only inspirational, they are magical. There is something so magically phenomenal about “truth”. When you encounter it, things change. That is what Dr. Dyer introduced to the world: the transformative magic of love. The truth of the matter is that all things are from the source of Divine Love and since we are included in “all things”, we are that Love. When we truly understand who we are, and that we are so much more than an our bodies and the expression of our conditioned personalities , we can live in the space of self-acceptance and the knowing that We and Source of our Being are One. God is Love and so are We. It is our birthright to Love and to be Loved. These are just some of the many truths that I learned through Dr. Dyer.

Like Water That Changes to Ice When It Snows…We Only Change Forms

Just like water changes to ice when it snows, we all change forms.
Just like water changes to ice when it snows, we all change forms.

Dr. Dyer would not want me to mourn his passing with grief, but with a deep awareness that we all came to express and share the Divine Love that is naturally within us and to use that love to transform ourselves and the world around us. He made such a tangible difference in offering to us his messages and teachings of Love and Hope. He made an indelible mark upon the earth. He can never die. Since we are all made of the same source of energy- we only change forms. Just like water changes to ice when it snows.

Dr. Dyer lives in the space of every word he has every spoken, in between the lines of every sentence he has every written, in the footprint of every place he has every graced, in the tenderness of every kiss he has every planted, and in the breeze of every wind that touches our skin – let it be a reminder of how gently and pleasantly he touched our lives.

Thank you Dr. Dyer for your contributions in our world system. You taught me and countless others that we are unlimited in our potential and there is an unlimited supply of Love to go around that can and will change the world.

I am now left with my personal charge to live in this awareness and continue to BE the message of Love and Acceptance that he and so many other sages taught and exemplified, including The Buddha, Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi, Kahlil Gibran, Mother Teresa, Sojourner Truth, Martin Luther King, Jr., my grand-mamma Janie, Popa, Aunt Sarah, Maya Angelou, my best friends Carl, Joyce and Theresa and lastly my two beautiful baby boys that lived only a few months in the walls of my protective womb.

Peace Be with You my Brother.
Your loving student,
Myra C.

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Beauty Queen

The Beauty Queen  crown-740562-s

Maria, the beauty queen, felt lost and depressed.  “I am glad that my beauty is fading. My looks have brought me nothing but problems”. Maria has had a history of abusive relationships with men. As a young woman, Maria over identified with her beauty, now she begrudges her beauty. Her self-esteem and sense of self were shaped by the beauty of her physical form. She lost contact with her true nature and with the universal and intrinsic truths about herself. She could not identify with her intrinsic ability to be kind, loving, flexible, creative, and patient. Maria felt alone and victimized. She lost sight of the fact that in the dance of life, we all will suffer.  She felt out of control and was held hostage by runaway  thoughts and behaviors. At middle age, Maria started to resent her beauty. She no longer cared for herself and abused her body with food and alcohol. Maria changed from over identification with form to trying to destroy her form.

Transcend Form

The characteristics of our form is not the point. The point is we all have form, and it goes much deeper than just how we look. Some of us are beautiful. Others are intelligent, creative or perhaps completely average in all ways. Maybe our form is an idea. We over identify with being Democrat, Christian, Feminist, whatever.   We may be “different” (whatever that means), or below “average”.  Once we accept our form, we can begin to investigate it. We can observe how our form influences the way that others see us. We can learn how our form impacts our essence, including our thinking, behaviors, emotions, impulses and ego. If we rise above our form we move to non-identification. We still have to live with our form. We just don’t have to be boxed in by it. We can not only accept but transcend form.

Maria, Meet Maria

Maria is slowly learning to accept and transcend her form. She honors her body by caring for it. Maria is investigating other aspects of her form. For the first time, Maria is getting to know her true self. She is learning how to love and honor herself. She is beginning to tap into her higher-self and shows patience, kindness and understanding, even when it is difficult. She feels more at peace and not so alone.

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The Many Faces of Ego

Our ego has many faces.

Struggles and Opportunities – In The Same Moment

For Mattie, both struggles and opportunities have existed within the same moment many times this week. Mattie’s father recently suffered a stroke and she has assisted in his physical and emotional care while in the hospital. Father is now frail and scared. Occasionally he has a  fleeting  awareness of his new existence. The ability to shower, walk, stand, eat and speak without assistance may be a thing of the past. A great degree of freedom is gone, at least for the time being. Mattie has felt tired, misunderstood, angry, “don’t care”, compassionate and sad. She has felt “up and down and all over the place”. At times Mattie is accepting, present, compassionate and so her ego softens. At other times she is feels angry, victimized and sad and so the ego hardens.

The Only Thing You Can Count On Is Change

Mattie is thinking about the complicated relationship she has had with her father. Because of the inevitable tide of change, whatever relationship existed will be different in the future. Mattie is remembering the many faces of who he was and how the face that was presented was dependent on the situation, the other person, strong beliefs, or thoughts. Mattie wonders about the true essence of her father.  Mattie remembers the “scary, raving lunatic” and the “generous, spiritual man”.  Who was this man before the stroke took much of him?

How Many Faces Can One Person Have?

Mattie’s father may be a complicated person who was highly reactive and generally a paradox of personalities.  However, the many faces of “self” is a personality trait that we all share. Our need to be humble, to impress, to have more stuff, to be a victim are all expressions of our ego, or sense of self. The face that is presented is “turned on” in part by, our roles and how we define those roles, our expectation of how others should act (based on our definitions of these roles). Only when we are conscious and aware can we allow these presentations of our self (or ego) to be diminished. Then we are allowed to feel peace, see clearly, react authentically and make space for our own consciousness.

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Relief From Ego

We experience a wonderful sense of relief when we no longer feel the need to defend and protect the ever changing and illusive ego.

Assistance Needed In The Baking Aisle

I was recently speaking with a friend (I will call Mattie) who became distraught following a verbal attack by her father. The father has a history of verbal abuse, is believed to be mentally-ill, and is perhaps showing signs of dementia. Mattie stated her “breakdown” occurred with what Oprah calls the “ugly cry” in the middle of the baking aisle of Kroger. Complete strangers were saying “God Bless You” as they tried to help her out to her car with her groceries. While in the safety of her car, the self-criticizing began. “What is wrong with you?”, “You just made a fool of yourself”, “Those people probably think you are crazy”. Due to her previous work in counseling, Mattie was able to recognize the critical voice and told it to get in the back seat of the car where is belongs.

Insult and Injury

After the emotions subsided Mattie began to examine the intense hurt she felt. She knew that to some extent the insults and cruel words were the voice of a mental illness. She also knew that the words were hurtful and mean. Words that no daughter should have to hear from her father. Mattie continued to examine her response because she knew there was some truth, or lesson within this difficult experience.  Then Mattie realized that part of her hurt belonged to her damaged ego. Her sense of “self” was under attack. In fact an important and valued sense of self. Being a “good daughter” was important to Mattie. She had an idea, a vision, a dream, of what it meant to be “a good daughter”, and the hateful words crushed that part of her ego.

Protecting The Ego

When we have a strong emotional reaction following what is perceived as an insult, look at ego. Look at your sense of self. Another person may not see you as you want to be seen. Another person may not see you as you really are. Perhaps you are trying to protect a part of ego that does not even exists. We all have a certain amount of delusions. Trying to protect the dream of ego can be a slippery slope indeed and increase our defensive responses, angry responses and sadness. We experience a  wonderful sense of relief when we no longer feel the need to defend and protect the ever changing and illusive ego.

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