Category: Mental Health

Ninja Ego

Ninga Ego 

The Ninja Ego

The ego. An elusive but dominating force. It sneaks up on us and takes control of our thoughts, words, and behaviors in a wink of an eye. I have had many discussions with clients, friends and family about the importance of understanding one’s ego.  I have been trying to understand mine for a long time.

The persona of my ego is a ninja. It is shadowy, elusive, potentially dangerous but never far away.

When the conditions are right my ego-ninja takes control of the wheel by hi-jacking perceptions, emotions, rational thinking and behaviors. Often the agenda of my ninja are at odds with my true objectives.

The Latest Coup Attempt 

Please let me provide a little background information for the recent conditions which made a coup attempt perfect for my ninja . My family, like many families, has suffered a great deal due to alcoholism and substance abuse. If you have or have had substance abuse in your family, you know that it is the bad gift that keeps on giving through the years and sometimes, sadly through generations.

Right Conditions

The conditions could not have been more perfect for my ninja ego. It’s summer and I’m at a pool party. An acquaintance, I will call Dean, is drinking shots of Jack Daniels. And…as people do when drinking Jack Daniels…. Dean is becoming obnoxious and loud. A group of vibrant 20 year old girls are at his table. Dean tries  to convince the young women to drink shots with him. None of them do thank goodness. However, Dean was perfectly modeling a crash course in Binge Drinking 101. Responsible Drinking 101 is the course that would benefit the young women. Not to mention Dean’s is breaking the law. And, not to mention, maybe the families of these young women would like to be the ones who introduce them to alcohol by modeling responsible drinking ie Now that you are legal drinking age, would you a glass of wine with dinner?

The Ninja Takes Control

After observing Dean’s actions, I was quite angry. After calming down, I decided to talk to Dean and explain why his actions were not OK on many levels. The discussion I planned to have with Dean began running through my head. It was only through a deep awareness that I understood what Ninja Ego truly wanted. My true objectives were to try and help Dean see how his actions encourage binge drinking of hard whisky to young women and why that is dangerous.   Ninja had a different agenda. Because of my past pain, Ninja Ego wanted to make Dean feel stupid and ashamed. Trying to shed some light on Dean’s behavior had taken back seat to Ninja Egos objectives. Ninja Ego wanted Dean to pay… a little. And at the end of the conversation, Ninja wanted to feel superior and smarter. Yes, Dean should be told that what he did was not smart and explain why. But Ninja wanted more

Surprise….You Too Have an Ninja Too

Your ego has ninja qualities too. Look for them. Understand them. What makes your ninja ego plan a coup? To answer this ask yourself, what do you defend? Is your existence or worth based on some idea of what it  is to be a good man/woman, Republican/Democrat, vegetarian/meat-eater, victim, Protector of Young Women?

When anger, frustration, judgement, intolerance arise, your ninja ego ninja is close by. She is elusive. She is in the shadows, but she is there. Before you know it your good intentions are vanquished.

The most interesting aspect of this experience was the subtle nature of ninja. I barely saw the true intentions, which were to make Dean feel bad, and for me to feel superior and smarter. It was if ninja ego was somewhere, very, very far  back in my subconscious mind.

I know you are there ninja ego. I am watching out for you.

be in peace – diane

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Watching the news is stressing you out

Is Watching the News Stressing You Out?

Watching the news is stressing you out

Images in the news of  police violence, racial tension, domestic and international terrorist attacks, and a divisive Presidential Election are constantly streaming. These images become part of our conscious mind. The result is that 

Watching the news is having a negative affect on our mental health.

I have noticed relationships between family and friends straining and breaking  as we argue and disagree about the causes and solutions to our problems. What I know about problems and solutions is this: Creative and solutions focused thinking, deep listening and flexibility are the ingredients  needed to solve the complicated problems we face in our families and communities. Stress, worry, ego and anxiety will always prevent collaboration and understanding.

If you are stressed out, understanding the root cause is critical, and will dictate the best course of treatment. The root causes of anxiety vary a great deal from one person to the next. Some of us are predisposed to anxiety because of heredity factors.   

We inherit personality types from our parents which make us susceptible to becoming  easily excited, aroused or threatened.

Anxiety might also be sustained through our beliefs, behaviors, or emotions. When we sustain anxiety we are often engaged in anxious self-talk, irrational beliefs, or disassociating from feelings.

Irrational beliefs often have their genesis in childhood. We inherit them from our family of origin.

For example, if the unspoken family rule was “We don’t talk about feelings”, we may assume this behavior. Irrational beliefs further support the behavior. We may subconsciously  think “I am weak when I talk about feelings”. As the cycle continues as we begin to disassociate. We try not to feel anything when in reality, anger, worry and fear is marinating somewhere deep inside, waiting for the right conditions to erupt. The final nail in the coffin occurs when we begin to only pay attention to the stimulus that supports our entrenched beliefs and perceptions. We see what we want to see. We only tune in to the news or radio shows which will support our pre-existing beliefs.

Short-term causes of anxiety are driven by experiences we have in the world. A personal experience with a traumatic event is the hallmark experience which leads to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Witnessing a traumatic event in which we feel threatened or in danger can create PTSD symptoms.

PTSD is particularly relevant  concern today. When we turn on the news we risk witnessing a traumatic event in which we feel personally threatened.

Here are a few solutions to reduce anxiety, stress and worry.

  • A healthy mind must be supported by a healthy life style.

    If your lifestyle lacks exercise, a healthy diet or adequate rest, try to address these issues first. Begin with small changes. If a gym membership makes you feel overwhelmed, begin with a 15 minute walk.

  • Minimize the personality traits that feed anxiety.

    If you are a glass half-empty personality, try to see the glass  half-full. Don’t expect changes to come all at once. This will be a gradual process.  Start with a paradigm changes few times during the day.  I like the book Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson which provides great exercises for changing how we internalize environmental stimulus from a half-empty to a half-full paradigm.

  • Find a therapist.

    Maintaining causes or short term causes of anxiety, are often sustained through a complex interplay of cognition, behaviors, perceptions, and emoting. It is very helpful to have an objective person to help you figure it out, provide support, and offer specific treatments. Use list services  such as Psychologytoday.com or Networktherapy.com to find therapist in your area. These websites also allow for searching by criteria such as areas of specialty, treatment options, gender and religion

  • Practice mindfulness.

    Breathe and be in the present moment. Learn to turn down the racing thoughts. Stop right now and practice. Find something in the present moment that is beautiful, graceful, calming. Often we over-look stimulus in the present moment that will bring us peace, joy, or calm. There are many options for learning mindfulness. Meetup typically offers local groups that provide instruction and support for learning and practicing.  I learned a great deal about mindfulness from reading books. You A. re Here by Zen Master Tich Nhat Hanh is beautifully written, simple and easy to apply. If you are new to meditation, begin with guided meditations which can be found on-line for free.

  • Use a comprehensive treatment approach.

    .We are holistic beings. A change in our physical behavior can change our attitude and vice versa. Do not limit your treatment to one area. If you take up exercise, that will likely reduce anxiety or other psychological symptoms. Try to expand your consciousness and be willing to try changing your behaviors, thinking patterns and how you emote. You can then learn to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety.

I often tell clients to try and be the best version of you. This best version is not a version that is hyper-vigilant, afraid, or worried. The best version is flexible, expressive, authentic, happy and calm. Be this. The world needs you at your best.

be well, diane

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Energy Psychology Named Evidenced Based Treatment

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) recently recognized Thought Field Therapy, a prequel of energy psychology, as an evidenced based treatment in mental health. This is a big deal particularly to those seeking a holistic approach with minimal side-effects in mental health therapy.

Who Cares ??

As a branch of the Department of Health and Human Services, SAMSHA is tasked with educating the public in regards to treatments options that are considered effective. Of course this is a moving target, which changes as theories are proved or disproved. Sometimes, the answer to the question “What is the best treatment for X?”  depends on who you ask and who is asking. Some folks  only consider New Age approaches, fearing side-effects and risk associated with mainstream medicine. Other folks only consider treatments endorsed by government agencies such as SAMHSA or a physician. The New Age crowd have been using energy psychology for awhile. The recognition by SAMHSA will offer more conservative individuals another option.  Who cares about the SAMSHA endorsement? My answer would be those who consider New Age approaches to be “out-there”, and want empirically based evidence to support their treatment decisions, with as few side effects as possible.

For the Traditionalist

Energy Psychology is a smart pairing of traditional psychological interventions which are tried and true, with Eastern ancient approaches to healing, which have been used for thousands of years. Traditional psychological interventions which are also utilized in Energy Psychology include:

  • affirmations which support a new and more positive beliefs or thought patterns
  • exposure therapy which suggest that progressive and continued exposure to a traumatic event results in desensitizing the responses when re-callling the event
    • exposure therapy is used to treat phobias and often post traumatic stress disorder
  • changing brain chemistry by releasing endorphins which help regulate mood
  • slows the fight/flight/freeze response in the central nervous system

Specifically…

The endorsements by SAMSHA recognized Energy Psychology as effective in the treatment for the following:

  • Personal Resilience
  • Self Concept
  • Self Regulation
  • Trauma
  • Stress Related

The endorsements by SAMSHA recognized Energy Psychology as promising in the treatment for the following:

  • Depression and Depressive Symptoms
  • General Functioning and Well-Being
  • Phobia, Panic and Generalized Anxiety Disorders

If you have any questions re. how Energy Psychology may help treat a condition, please do not hesitate to call Authentic Life Counseling. We have used this treatment option to help many people with a variety of mental health problems feel better. I will do my best to answer your questions.

be in peace – diane

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The Avatar of Ego

 

Guest Blogger Sonic Yogi

As soon as we begin to attach to an Identity we begin to build an Ego. What’s an Ego? The ego is an avatar that we have created. It seems worthy of love from others. An avatar is also something to be defended from others. So, ironically, ego keeps the connection to others from fully occurring.

We also begin to build the “Shadow”, or the part of of identity that is hiding from view. Shadow fears being discovered because it conflicts with the identity I have chosen. Shadow has desires that seem unacceptable and must be kept secret. This shadow is partly conscious, but mostly subconscious.

Most of ego is ingrained into society at a deep level so that it remains subconscious. When we are children, we are asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” What will you become? It’s as if what we are isn’t enough. We have to choose from a list of activities that will someday define us. It’s not the activity that’s the problem, it’s our need to define ourselves and our need to define others.LoveoverFear

Why is this all so insane? Because no one, not one soul on the planet, chose to be most of these things that define our ego. None of us chose to be White, Black, Yellow, Male, Female.. ..most did not even choose to be a certain religion etc.. ..before we got here. Some things are fundamental to us and others we have chosen, but NONE of them are what WE ARE. But what are we? Humans? yes.. but more importantly we are spirits..and we are psyches..which above all, desire to love and be loved…This is universal for every person and ironically it’s this desire that fuels the quest for identification and acceptance in the first place.

So, the ultimate stress reduction is to surrender, and let go of all of this, and to begin to choose Love over Fear.

About Sonic Yogi (Jon Adams)

Sound has the power to heal. During an experience with extreme anxiety, I found Sound Therapy to be a valuable tool for relaxing and letting go of stress. As a musician, I have always thought of music as a way to entertain and move our emotions. Now I see it’s potential as a healing force. Sound, used therapeutically, can help us relax, de-stress, reconnect and FEEL GREAT. Free downloads and insightful blogs are available at: http://sonicyogi.com/

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10 Methods to Reduce Stress That Anyone Can Do

Chronic Stress – Modern Day Malady

Stress is a modern day malady that has reached epidemic proportions.
Stress is a modern day malady that has reached epidemic proportions.

Traffic jams, computer fatigue, high-pressured work environment and an impossible fast pace in our day to day lives. This has become the rule more than the exception and it takes a toll on our physical and mental health. In effect, we stay in a chronic state of fight/flight/freeze which does a number on the central nervous system. The fight/flight/freeze response is great when we need it. It keeps us alive by signaling the body to release neurotransmitters, hormones, suppress the immune system and increase blood pressure and blood sugar levels to prepare for the fight or enable us to run for our lives. These reactions are obviously hard on the body. We are not designed to stay in this hyper vigilant, annoyed, on-guard state. It is designed for emergency use only, not traffic jams or slow internet connections. The result is a hyper sensitive, quick to react response from the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight/freeze reaction) and a parasympathetic nervous system (rest/relax) that can’t is sluggish and slow to activate.

10 Methods to Reduce Stress That Anyone Can Do

1. Exercise. Even moderate exercise can help to offset the physical responses of the fight/flight response. Tension can be released from the body by stretching or walking. Blood pressure is reduced and the mind is cleared.

Moderate exercise is beneficial to reduce stress.
Moderate exercise is beneficial in reducing stress.

2. Use Intentions. Form follows our thoughts. We don’t have to set world changing or even life changing intentions. A simple intention can help us to remain calm. Public speaking is one of the biggest triggers for anxiety. Recently before making a presentation I felt my heart rate spiking. I set an intention that I will share the information I have been asked to share with calm and ease. It brought my anxiety down immediately

3. Notice the Rest/Relax State of Mind – When you are feeling calm or relaxed, try to be conscious of this fact. Notice the ease of mind and body. Feel the calm and be aware of it to help trigger the parasympathetic nervous system to “kick in”.

4. Do Something You Love – It sounds simple and it is. Sometimes the most simple of treatments are the best place to start. When we take the time to engage in those things which make our heart soar, or our mouths curve into a smile it is like a release valve. The stress melts away.

5. Be Grateful – Seeing the blessings, the good, the glass as half full is a great healer which holds enormous healing potential. It gives the mind a break from the troubles and stops the repeat narrative of gloom/doom.

6. Use positive Self Affirmations – We live in a highly competitive society. When we do not excel or properly keep up with the Jones’s, the negative self talk narrative kicks in and gets loud. Many people have highly harsh and critical inner voices. You may not be perfect, but you are not all bad. Find something true, pure, loving that is good about you. Say it. Own it. Remind yourself of the good that is your true essence.

7. See Impermanence – If you pay attention to your current condition, the only thing you can be sure of is it will change. Our moods can change moment to moment, as well as our pain level, relationship status, financial status. You name it, and it is changing. Keeping the notion of impermanence in our minds helps us to create a space between ourselves and our suffering.

8. Massage Your Forehead – This simple technique is used in Energy Psychology. It is effective in bringing blood back to the pre-frontal cortex area of your brain. When you are under stress blood leaves this area of your brain to support fight/flight/freeze. That is why it is difficult to think when you are under stress. Crown Pull Instructions – Place the thumbs of each hand on your temples. Let your fingers rest across your forehead, just above your eyebrows, with finger tips touching. Begin pulling the skin on your forehead, until they separate and reach your hair line. Repeat the process moving up your forehead, until you reach the upper part of your hairline above your eyes.

9. Talk With Someone – When we feel alone, not understood or not seen, we spiral much easier into anxiety and depression. Find someone to talk to. Reach out to your friend that gives you support and good advice. If you don’t have a good support system you need one. It will mean taking risk and doing things that might make you uncomfortable. Visit a church, find a support group in your area, join a social meet-up group with people who have similar interest.

10. Humor – Laugh easily and freely. If it is hard for you to laugh, watch funny movies. In the book Anatomy of an Illness, Norman Cousins describes using a high intake of funny movies and vitamin C to significantly reduce the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis. He was able to stop taking pain killers and reduced many of the symptoms associated with the disease.

be in peace – diane

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Lazy Sickness

Symptoms for Lazy Sickness include spending more time than you intended engaged in non goal directed or frivolous activities.
Symptoms for Lazy Sickness include spending more time than you intended engaged in non goal directed or frivolous activities.

Lazy Sickness

There are many behavioral, cognitive and emotional patterns that are pathological and destructive. Many have “official” diagnosis, symptoms and treatment protocols. Many don’t. Many conditions are quite common, yet we don’t acknowledge or recognize them in the standard mental health vernacular. We should. A condition I call lazy sickness is a good example.

Lazy sickness is identified by a behavior of spending an inordinate amount of time wasting time ie computer games. The hallmark of these activities is they are not goal directed. Due to these activities, priorities often become skewed and responsibilities go by the wayside ie computer games over homework. Lazy sickness is compulsive, chronic and obsessive. The intensity of laziness begins to impact interpersonal relationships and important obligations and reresponsibilites are ignored.

Physical activity is believed to help us grow willpower reserves
Physical activity is believed to help us grow willpower reserves

Treatment for Lazy sickness

1. Recognize and acceptance are hallmarks in the treatment for most pathological conditions. Most people that I have worked with who have lazy sickness are aware of it. They may not admit it to their families, but in counseling they will be honest and admit to profound laziness.

2. Do a honest pro/con analysis of the behavior. What is it costing you? Flunking out of college because of a computer addiction is quite  a cost. Is it worth it? Working with a therapist during this stage is crucial if defense mechanisms such as denial and minimization are used to justify behaviors.

3. Set goals for change – Identify specifically what the change will look like? Realistically, how can the problem improve in one week, month, or year?

4. Make a decision regarding treatment. When a person decides they cost of laziness outweighs the benefits it is time for a treatment plan.  Problems solving skills, strengths and resource inventory, and coping skills help mobilize the tangible skills to reach his goal

5. Behavioral modification with positive reinforcement – Use rewards to reinforce non-lazy behaviors.  For example, when you do homework (instead of computer games) you get a reward (favorite meal)

6.  Behavioral modification with negative reinforcement – Engaging in the behavior you are trying to change results in an unpleasant experiences you would rather avoid. The room is intolerable with either noise or temperature manipulation while playing computer games.

7. Taking in the Good – Neuroscience tells us that we naturally cling to negative thoughts with a great deal more energy than positive thoughts. Therefore, when we make positive steps in the right direction, it s very helpful to purposefully enhance the positive experience. Rick Hanson provides practical guidance in his book Hardwiring Happiness.

8. Become friends with Discomfort – Not-liking, unsatisfactory conditions, and frustration are ongoing conditions. By the end of this minute, hour or day we will likely experience them. Learning coping skills to deal with discomfort is very important.

9. Willpower – The kryptonite of laziness. The use of affirmations is simple yet can be effective in helping us to build our willpower reserves

10. Aerobic exercise – Some researches describe aerobic exercise as the Willpower Miracle. Studies indicate that aerobic exercise strengthens the centers of the brain where Willpower sits.

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Lazy Sickness, Control Freak Disorder and Sefish Illness

My Proposed Mental Health Diagnosis

 Lazy Sickness, Control Freak Disorder and Selfish Illness

An accurate mental health diagnosis is important because it lays the foundation of mental health treatment. It will determine the medication you are given, and the type of therapy you receive. However, it’s not unusual during assessment  for mental health clinicians to disagree on a person’s diagnosis . Don’t be surprised. Mental health diagnosis and assessment is less of a science that you would think. Often subjective measurements such as questionnaires and observation are used as assessment tools. I have observed a number of common behaviors or character flaws which reach a pathological state and create a tremendous amount of problems for individuals. While they are not a part of our current mental health vernacular, they make as much sense to me as some of the diseases that make up our current mental health vernacular.   You will probably recognize some of the proposed conditions which include Lazy Sickness, Control Freak Disorder and Selfish Illness.   

Lazy Sickness – Symptoms include an excessive presentation of lethargy, sluggishness, and a lack of goal directed activity.  Lazy Sickness  Sufferers  (LSS) typically have very little self control or discipline.  Individuals who suffer from lazy sickness have often been enabled by family members. Lazy sickness sufferers are often financially dependent on another person  because they have not cultivated  an academic or professional career. This may result in an inability to live autonomously, even as adults. Much of their time is spent engaged in frivolous activities. These activities may have similarities to addictive behaviors ie unsuccessful attempts to stop activities. As adults, LSS have often been enabled for a period of time by their family members.  Treatment should include family therapy to help enablers learn how to stop enabling.

Control Freak Disorder (CFD) – Presenting symptoms include attempts to control the behaviors, thoughts, and emotions of the people around them.  The spectrum of dominating behaviors is often overbearing and may become intolerable. Therefore, one of the primary symptoms of the Control Freak is a lack of close relationships.  The Control Freak often has few friends, is not liked by family members and may be isolated. The Control Freak often becomes angry or feels threatened  when others  act, emote or think differently than him. Due to his lack of emotional control and need to dominate others, the control freak often responds with insults, criticism and sometimes threats when others act as an individual. The Control Freak may cling very strongly to his beliefs and opinions  and harshly judges others who do not share the same beliefs.

Selfish Sickness – Symptoms include an obsessive focus of self. A person who presents with selfish sickness feels as though their experiences are very different, unique, and grander than they actually are. Their problems are often an obsessive focus, and are generally blown out of proportion. Selfish Sickness makes it difficult to empathize with the difficulties of another person. Other people’s problems are greatly minimized. If attention is not directed toward a person with selfish sickness they may get angry or engage in sabotaging behavior in order to draw attention back to themselves.  Selfish sickness presents with a great deal of sensitivity on special occasions such a Birthdays or Holidays. If a great deal of attention is not received, selfish sickness sufferers react with anger or are deeply hurt. While it is not impossible for an individual with selfish sickness to feel compassion for another, the compassion it is not sustained. Selfish Sickness individuals often have little tolerance for other people who may be experiencing problems.  

You probably know someone with one of these make-believe disorders because they are common flaws. I try to stress the importance of using mental health diagnosis as a term which uses broad strokes to define a cluster of symptoms. It is not you. It is a label. A label that many people would argue has less validity and empirical evidence to support it’s existence than the make believe disorders. Don’t attach to hard to your labels. Break out of them

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Logicpalooza – thinking and rock star status

thinker

Logicpalooza- thinking and rock star status

Who does not like logic? Logic is great, really. Without logical thinking it would be difficult to solve simple problems. Without the advances that have resulted from logical thinking our lives would be more difficult in many ways. However, logical thinking should not always take the center stage of our mind.

We bestow rock star status to the cognitive process of logical thinking

As a society, we bestow rock star status to logical thinking. However, this cognitive process is not always the right or best response. When is logical thinking not the right response? Some answers would include situations in which a more emotional space will help you to feel the moment, connect with another, or find peace in acceptance. For example, when you are looking at a sunset, kissing your partner, holding a baby or acknowledging a well deserved compliment logically analyzing is perhaps not the right response.

We want answers

In some traditions of Zen Buddhism, students are often given a koan to contemplate while they are meditating. Think of a koan as a puzzle or riddle. One of the functions of koan is to illuminate the inadequacy of logical thinking. We want answers, but sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes it serves us to accept, let go, or let it be. Perhaps, the function of our mind quite naturally keeps the wheels spinning with relentless thinking and analyzing.  It seems to take conscious effort to maintain awareness yet relinquish the desire to have an answer. Relinquishing logical thinking in the right space and at the right time, helps us to obtain a greater sense of  peace and acceptance for those things in our life that are the most difficult, the most magical, and the most inspiring.

with peace – diane   

 

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Top 10 Suggestions for Good Mental Health

Top 10 Suggestions for Mental Health
Top 10 Suggestions for Mental Health

Top 10 Suggestions for Good Mental Health

Good mental health must be cultivated. There is a direct correlation between the time, effort and discipline one uses to cultivate good mental health and one’s actual mental health.

My top 10 list for cultivating good mental health falls into three basic categories : Behavior Modification, Skills Mastery, Self Mastery

Behavior Modification  –  Positive changes in the realm of physical health may also improve mental health.

10.  Exercise – Releases hormones and neurotransmitters associated with positive emotions.   

9  Healthy Diet  – Not only does a healthy body need good nutrition, so does a healthy mind. Our relationship with food is also significant and includes body-image, issues of control and emotional eating.  

8  Hobby  – Spending time engaged in activities which bring us joy fosters well-being.  

Skills Mastery  – A few basic skills can be of a tremendous help in relationships and self growth

7  Relationships Skills – Many skills such as assertive communication, active listening and attending to relationships cultivate the loving relationships where we find support, validation and a sense of belonging  

6  Take in the Good – According to neuropsychologist Rick Hanson we have a biological and evolutionary propensity to be negative. Our ancestors had to remember the location of the hostile tribes, not necessarily the location of the gorgeous waterfalls in order to stay alive.  To stay positive, notice the positive. Stay with them and try to enhance the experience.

5  Learn to Set Boundaries- Most of us have  a tendency of either passive or negative energy when we set boundaries.  Learning assertive behaviors and communication is empowering and fosters confidence and a sense of control.

Self Mastery – These skills allow us to master our thoughts, emotions and responses to our environment

4. Energy Hygiene – We are energetic beings. The intensity of negative emotions can be  diminished, and positive emotions can be easily instilled by learning and using simple energy hygiene exercises such as Emotional Freedom Tapping. 

3   Know thyself  – What have you packed away in your ego? We all have something. Is it an inflated (egotistical) or deflated (low self esteem) sense of self ? Discovering how you define self is a fascinating journey. Yet, the ego remains unconscious to many of us, even though it defines how we see and respond to the world.

2  Mindfulness – When we stay in the present moment, we touch life.  We become aware of the miracles around us. We begin to think more clearly and can subsequently respond to our environment in a more adaptive manner.

1  Meditation –   Is the deepest of mindfulness practices. As we focus on the breathe we observe our  thoughts as they arise. This is different from attaching to our thoughts. Meditation also generates  a sense of peace, improves concentration, and slows down racing thought patterns.  

with blessings – diane

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The Energy Of Anger

flameThe High Price of Anger

We all know what it feels like to be angry. We may even have a general idea of the high price we pay when we act on our anger. I say general because if we would stop and think before expressing anger and remember the high cost we are going to pay, perhaps we could remember to act in non-anger. The opposite of acting in anger would be to act in Understanding. The right action of Understanding has many different forms and is dependent on the situation. Very often an Understanding response would be to remain silent. For some people who passively accumulate anger as they allow others to exploit them, an Understanding response would be to set a boundary using the appropriate level of firmness.

The Energy of Anger

The energy of anger is hot and strong and often can be felt in our head in the form of pressure, pain and tightness. It is thought that nearly 85% of the blood in the pre-frontal cortex area of our brain is drained to support the automatic “fight or flight” response that is activated by anger. The pre-frontal cortex area of the brain is needed during higher levels of cognitive processes such as judgment and creativity. That is why when we are angry we become “blind with anger”. The brain cannot support clear thinking and anger at the same time.
Damage to our health is a another price we pay when we are angry. We should be grateful that our bodies accommodate our needs and the fight or flight response is triggered when we truly need it. However, a traffic light that inconveniently turns red, a waitress who is slow to bring your meal, or a rude response from a colleague does not really necessitate the barrage of neuro-chemical, muscular, and hormonal changes that are instigated when the fight or flight response is triggered. It is good when we need it, but damages our bodies when over used.

We can all probably identify with the consequences that anger can have on relationships. Angry words and angry deeds can destroy relationships. We may shatter spirits, joy, creativity, and peace with anger. This is a very high cost. That is why it is important to address our anger and know how to respond to it.
The possibility of feeling and acting in anger is in all of us. Please share with me. Have you found a skill that reduces your anger? Have you found a skill that changes the energy of anger into the energy of Understanding?

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Being Authentic When You Feel Imperfect

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