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Anger or Happiness? It’s Up To You, but You Can’t Have It Both Ways

Cool the flames of anger with intentions and compassion
Cool the flames of anger with intentions and compassion

Anger or Happiness? It’s Up To You, but You Can’t Have It Both Ways

Barriers to happiness include feelings of disappointment, anger, or unresolved conflict in inter-personal relationships. Sometimes friends, companies, lovers, bosses etc. can behave in ways that are harmful, selfish and draining. When we are hurt, we become angry and resentful. We may think that getting even will make us feel better. The truth is that holding on to Anger will increase suffering. It does not bring justice, restitution or peace. Try to hold the feeling of happiness and anger at the same time. I don’t think it is possible, because they are not compatible. Try letting go of Anger. Realize that it is hurting you.

What Are Your Intentions?

It is said that the happiest people in the world are those with a rich network of close and supportive relationships. We are happy when we feel heard, validated, appreciated and understood by our family and friends. There are many skills that we can learn to help foster loving relationships. One simple and very powerful skill is setting the right intention. We can make it our intention to show appreciation, to validate, or to listen. An intention can help our words to soften, our understanding to deepen, or our true appreciation to be felt by those we love. Intentions can change the dynamics of relationships, even when it is a relationship that has a history with heavy expressions of anger. At first, you may try to change the dynamics of the relationship by simply setting  an intention to remain calm the next time you interact with this person.     

The Antidote of Compassion

Sometimes we know that we should let go of Anger, and we may try. However, our energy of anger may be very strong. Especially if the object of our anger is a person or situation that has hurt us a great deal. I find several techniques to be especially helpful to “cool the flames” of anger. One technique is to try and understand the suffering of the person who is hurting you. Sometimes that can be very easy to see if we only look. We can clearly see their fear or feelings of inadequacy if we can calm our emotions enough to see the other person. Feeling compassion for another person, and understanding their suffering will quite naturally cool our feelings of anger.

with peace and blessings – diane

Tapping Summit 2014-Energy Therapy Training

Energy Therapy uses the subtle energy of our thoughts and emotions to promote psychological health.
Energy Therapy uses aspects of traditional psychological methods with ancient acupuncture techniques to promote psychological health.

Tapping Summit 2014 – Energy Therapy Training

If you are interested in learning a simple technique that has the potential to greatly improve your health please consider attending the FREE  2014 Tapping World Summit which begins February 24th and runs through March 10th. If you are interested please leave your name below in the comments area, and I will provide you with registration information.

Learn from Experts – And, Did I Mention It Was Free?

This FREE 10 day event will provide you with access to leaders and experts in the field of energy healing as they show you how to eliminate stress and anxiety,  and improve your health, relationships and happiness by using Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT). You will also have access to the presentations for 24 hours if you cannot make the live presentation. Paid upgrades are available (but not necessary) which provide unlimited access to the material.

EFT Combines Psychological Methods with Acupuncture Techniques

Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT) is a form of healing which uses aspects of traditional psychological methods and ancient acupuncture techniques. Currently EFT has been featured on Doctor Oz, The New York Times,   and Women’s Health Magazine. EFT is remarkably easy to learn, and is gaining a great deal of attention in health care because of the effectiveness, lack of side-effects and adaptability.

I Use It With Clients and Have Seen Remarkable Results.

I believe that this modality, which is still relatively new, will become one of the most widely used holistic treatments over the next ten years.  EFT is effective, it is easy to use, and clients can apply the techniques to treat a wide variety of health concerns . You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

With peace and blessings – diane

The Energy Of Anger

flameThe High Price of Anger

We all know what it feels like to be angry. We may even have a general idea of the high price we pay when we act on our anger. I say general because if we would stop and think before expressing anger and remember the high cost we are going to pay, perhaps we could remember to act in non-anger. The opposite of acting in anger would be to act in Understanding. The right action of Understanding has many different forms and is dependent on the situation. Very often an Understanding response would be to remain silent. For some people who passively accumulate anger as they allow others to exploit them, an Understanding response would be to set a boundary using the appropriate level of firmness.

The Energy of Anger

The energy of anger is hot and strong and often can be felt in our head in the form of pressure, pain and tightness. It is thought that nearly 85% of the blood in the pre-frontal cortex area of our brain is drained to support the automatic “fight or flight” response that is activated by anger. The pre-frontal cortex area of the brain is needed during higher levels of cognitive processes such as judgment and creativity. That is why when we are angry we become “blind with anger”. The brain cannot support clear thinking and anger at the same time.
Damage to our health is a another price we pay when we are angry. We should be grateful that our bodies accommodate our needs and the fight or flight response is triggered when we truly need it. However, a traffic light that inconveniently turns red, a waitress who is slow to bring your meal, or a rude response from a colleague does not really necessitate the barrage of neuro-chemical, muscular, and hormonal changes that are instigated when the fight or flight response is triggered. It is good when we need it, but damages our bodies when over used.

We can all probably identify with the consequences that anger can have on relationships. Angry words and angry deeds can destroy relationships. We may shatter spirits, joy, creativity, and peace with anger. This is a very high cost. That is why it is important to address our anger and know how to respond to it.
The possibility of feeling and acting in anger is in all of us. Please share with me. Have you found a skill that reduces your anger? Have you found a skill that changes the energy of anger into the energy of Understanding?

Energy Healing Therapy… Much Ado About Something

Energy Healing Therapy…Much Ado About Something

Energy Therapy uses the subtle energy of our thoughts and emotions to promote psychological health.
Energy Therapy uses the subtle energy of our thoughts and emotions to promote psychological health.

There is currently a great deal of buzz and excitement in mental health regarding the multi-faceted modality known as Energy Healing. While specific techniques used in energy healing may vary, the various protocols rely on manipulating the subtle energy within our body in order to promote healing. Because we are made up of energy, we can influence our health by attending to the subtle energies which are thought to be aspects of thoughts, emotional reactions and neurological responses.  Like our heart, our temperature, and the protons and electrons that make up every atom of our body, thoughts and emotions are assumed to also have an expression of energy. We can therefore diagnose and heal through the expression of energy contained in our emotions and thoughts.

How Does It Work?

In energy healing, we begin  by honoring the notion of mind-body connection. Certain thoughts, memories, images stimulate a reaction in the brain which is followed by a reaction in body. These reactions can be classified as energetic reactions. Let us take a specific example. Let us assume a person suffers from anxiety. An anxiety provoking thought activates a certain part of the brain, neurons fire, neurotransmitters are released. These signals tell the body to react in a specific manner. In this example perhaps we begin to sweat or our heart rate increases.  In Energy Healing, energy points are activated through touching, tapping or holding as we attune to the anxiety producing thought.   Stimulating the energy point  adjust the energetic reaction that was occurring in the brain and our feelings of anxiety are reduced.  Researches postulate that activating the energy point desensitizes the memory. The result is a change in neurological reactions with lower levels of stress related neurotransmitters and rewiring new neural pathways.

Does It Work?

I know this might seem a little to “out there” for many. Keep in mind, we still cannot prove, measure or explain several expressions of “healing” that are relatable to each of us such as positive thinking, intention, intuition or visualization.  However, several clinical trials support the use of Energy Healing to treat many mental health problems such as anxiety, PTSD, and phobias. These studies are being conducted by esteemed institutions such as Kaiser Permanente, Harvard Medical School and other institutions around the world. Not only are the results demonstrating Energy Healing as effective, in many cases the number of treatments used is much less than traditional psychological interventions such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Much ado about something … indeed

with blessings – diane

Free Mindfulness Event Featuring Thich Nhat Hahn

Free Mindfulness Event with Thich Nhat Hanh

thichnhathan

 Sound True is streaming a  free on-line mindfulness presentation on Saturday, October 26, from 6 ET until 8 pm which features Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh.
You can register at www.Soundstrue.com. The event is listed under the Courses and Events tab. 
 Refreshing Our Hearts : Touching the Wonders of Life
 includes the monks and nuns of Plum Village and will feature chanting, and guided meditation.
This is a wonderful opportunity to share the wonderful possibilities, mental clarity and emotional health that can be realized by mindfulness practices.

 

Self-Help Speakers and Healers Offer Free On-Line Event

Self-Help Teachers and Visionaries Presented in Free On-Line Eventrestore

Hay House is hosting a FREE ten day on-line event beginning October 12. The Hay House World Summit features a great line-up of guest speakers who will impart their tips, wisdom and insights into healing practices to support your emotional, physical, and mental health.

Online audio interviews will be offered from Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, John  Edward, Doreen Virtue, Deepak Chopra, Suze Orman, Dr. Brian Weiss, Don Miguel  Ruiz, Iyanla Vanzant, Esther Hicks, Denise Linn just to name a few.

To register go to www.hayhouseworldsummit.com

Hay House is a publisher of inspirational and self-help books and programs. Hay House was founded in 1987 by Louise L Hay the author of Heal Your Body and You Can Heal Your Life

 

 

 

Beauty Queen

The Beauty Queen  crown-740562-s

Maria, the beauty queen, felt lost and depressed.  “I am glad that my beauty is fading. My looks have brought me nothing but problems”. Maria has had a history of abusive relationships with men. As a young woman, Maria over identified with her beauty, now she begrudges her beauty. Her self-esteem and sense of self were shaped by the beauty of her physical form. She lost contact with her true nature and with the universal and intrinsic truths about herself. She could not identify with her intrinsic ability to be kind, loving, flexible, creative, and patient. Maria felt alone and victimized. She lost sight of the fact that in the dance of life, we all will suffer.  She felt out of control and was held hostage by runaway  thoughts and behaviors. At middle age, Maria started to resent her beauty. She no longer cared for herself and abused her body with food and alcohol. Maria changed from over identification with form to trying to destroy her form.

Transcend Form

The characteristics of our form is not the point. The point is we all have form, and it goes much deeper than just how we look. Some of us are beautiful. Others are intelligent, creative or perhaps completely average in all ways. Maybe our form is an idea. We over identify with being Democrat, Christian, Feminist, whatever.   We may be “different” (whatever that means), or below “average”.  Once we accept our form, we can begin to investigate it. We can observe how our form influences the way that others see us. We can learn how our form impacts our essence, including our thinking, behaviors, emotions, impulses and ego. If we rise above our form we move to non-identification. We still have to live with our form. We just don’t have to be boxed in by it. We can not only accept but transcend form.

Maria, Meet Maria

Maria is slowly learning to accept and transcend her form. She honors her body by caring for it. Maria is investigating other aspects of her form. For the first time, Maria is getting to know her true self. She is learning how to love and honor herself. She is beginning to tap into her higher-self and shows patience, kindness and understanding, even when it is difficult. She feels more at peace and not so alone.

This Moment Points At Me

This Moment Points at Me

Mindfulness practice and a craving for pancakes points to some truths about me
Mindfulness practice and a craving for pancakes points to some truths about me

This moment, the essence of now, points to the truth. The grips of grasping, attachment and delusions which control our behaviors and thinking are revealed in the now.  The essence of now points to the essence of me. Who am I? Who am I in this moment?

As I sit at my desk, visual, auditory, kinesthetic stimulation influence “me”.  I am slightly aware of the soreness in my back. I see my dog.  The house is currently quiet. Pleasant sensory stimulation.  I feel calm, happy and grateful. But the pleasant sensory stimulation will change. It always does. Just give it some time. Will I be able to remain mindful, calm, happy and grateful when the neighborhood dog starts barking? If my back pain gets worse? If my dog becomes insistent that I take her for a walk?  If the stimulation provided to my five senses changes from pleasant to unpleasant, how will I change in that moment? And what does that say about me? Which sensory change will have the most impact? The barking dog, back pain, or interruption?

The Sense of Mind

We have another sensory faculty which has a strong influence on the present moment and points to “Me”. This is the Sense of Mind. Our Mind Sense includes beliefs, intentions, cravings, perceptions, will, concentration, general tone (good or bad mood), and desire.

I become aware of my mind sense, it’s influence on the present moment, and what that reveals about “me”. I am aware of my intentions. At this moment they are clear. Intentionally write a blog about mindfulness. Through mindfulness practice I know that my intentions are not always clear. I have gained some insight as to how/why they become muddled through mindful attention.

Cravings are starting to hijack me the longer I sit. I can’t stop thinking about pancakes.  I want pancakes for breakfast. Mindfully, I have observed my cravings. I look inward to them. My cravings often have specific themes of food and general themes of comfort. There is  knowledge about me when I look at what I  crave.

Mindfully I recognize a vague belief about making pancakes. I believe that making and eating pancakes for breakfast brings peace to Sunday mornings. This is a delusion. I wish it were so easy. Pancakes cannot guarantee peace.

I am hopeful that this will be a peaceful and happy Sunday morning. If I stay mindful, I believe it will.

with blessings – diane

Weight Loss Clinic

Weight Loss Clinic

Weight-Loss Clinic Sunday, October 13th 2 pm - 4:30 pm
Weight-Loss Clinic
Sunday, October 13th
2 pm – 4:30 pm

Authentic-Life Counseling and

Tonya Morris Wellness

are pleased to offer a weight loss clinic

Sunday, October 13th

from 2 pm – 4:30 pm

  • Behavioral modification strategies which use energy psychology and meridian activation to curb cravings  and increase willpower
  • Nutrition Consultation
  • Healthy Snacks and a Cooking Demonstration
  • Hypnotherapy to encourage your desire to eat healthy food and lose weight

Call 770-378-6835 for Reservations (limited to 10 participants)

Get the tools you need to lose the weight you want!!!

Righteous Anger

Righteous Anger

Is Anger ever the right response? Is it possible that the “right” expression of anger, used in the “right” circumstances serves a purpose? Is it possible for anger to be expressed consciously? Jesus was certainly enlightened and conscious, and he became angry. Flipping over tables in the temple, rebuking Peter, and calling the Pharisees hypocrites are a few examples. Are we enlightened and conscious enough to use righteous anger in a productive manner?

Anger Begets Anger

A husband becomes angry with his wife after she is caught lying about her impulsive and out-of- control shopping and spending which is threatening their financial future. The husband has been patient, understanding and supportive up until now. After the husband reviews the facts about the spending, and the financial implications to their family, he begins to outline the consequences of her behavior. In a raised voice he states her actions have changed their relationship. He can no longer trust her, particularly with money. He then sets boundaries and outlines the steps he will take to separate their credit and finances. The wife in-turn becomes angry and defiant and accuses the husband of being controlling, stingy and harsh.

Anger : The Slippery Slope of Emotions

Anger can be a slippery slope because Anger often begets Anger. That does not mean it is wrong, it just means that you should be prepared to accept these consequences. The expression of Righteous Anger can result in a person finally hearing and recognizing the consequences of their actions. However, shame, resentment, defense are common reactions. So, if you must use anger to be heard, be prepared for the emotions that anger may illicit. Jesus probably did not make new friends at the temple after turning over the tables. Also be sure of the motivation for your anger. If you are angry because your ego has been threatened or challenged, then pull back. Acting with anger is probably not the right response. Instead, take a deep breath and a step back. If your anger is about you, it is not righteous. If you act in anger because something bigger than you is under attack, exploited, cheated etc. perhaps using anger productively might be the emotional response that gets through, that is heard, and helps a person to realize the consequences of their actions.

close up of hand in om mudra

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